So the one thing you can count on in life is change….

Personally, I have never been big on change.  Although change is often a good thing – i.e., a freshly painted room, a new floor, a tasty new recipe, a new friend, a great new outfit, or losing 5 pounds – change can be, well – difficult.  

I am not one to welcome new challenges – i.e., sickness, financial stress, death, family problems, or the loss of a family member….. – but I know that it brings with it growth.  Change moves us from our comfort zone and forces us to take action.  It challenges the way we feel, think, and subsequently, see life.  It makes us reach deep inside and ask those hard questions – you know, the life changing kind.  Change often knocks us to our knees and begs us to look up to that higher power, even God, who knows all things.  It is necessary to have our rough edges knocked off so that we can be better, more loving, more compassionate, more humble, more understanding….  Such a painful process.  Sometimes I beg my Heavenly Father that I might at least catch my breath before being knocked down again – and sometimes I am granted that brief moment.  Other times, the waves just keep crashing in, until we think we will not have the strength to get up again.  And yet, we do rise each and every time.  Miraculously, although not unscarred….we ARE stronger, wiser, more like Him.  

I would wish for my children a charmed life – without sadness, or trial, or hurt – but I know that such a thing would keep them from becoming all that God intended for them to be.  It is through the awful struggle with un-welcomed change that we find those strengths within ourselves to rise above.  I pray for my children – that they will look to God through each trial, that they will view change and struggle as “gifts”.  That they will come to God for peace.  I wish for them to someday go home to that Father-in-heaven that created them.

For me, I pray for the ability to stand back and allow my children to grow.  To not reach out when they need to do it themselves.  To ask for the right blessings for them – that they will realize their own potential, see God’s hand in their lives and reach out for it.  I pray to be supportive, but to stand back and let them develop their own inner strength.  I pray for the insight to know what to say – and, harder still, what NOT to say.  I pray that I will be Christ-like in my dealings with my boys and their families.  I pray that they will desire to live good lives.

The past 2 years have been difficult.  Filled with change – with more on the horizon.  Although I cannot control the things that are presently happening, I know that I can control my response to them.  I pray for the inner strength to be better than I am – to have a heart big enough to weather this storm.  I pray that I will know the way to go.  This is a path unknown to me – I pray I will not falter or stray too far from the best, safest way to travel.  

I am thankful to an amazing family – for sons that are great examples to me (and so much better than I ever was at their age!) and for the strength that they give me.  I am grateful to an extended family who is always there for me.  I love the laughter and tears that we are able to share together.  They sustain me and make me better.  MOST of all, I am thankful for a husband who has stood by me through the good, the bad, and the ugly and has supported me – sometimes carried me – through the last 32 years.  I could not have asked for better.  He is not perfect, but is perfect FOR me!   He is strong where I am weak.  He is wise when I am foolish.  He is steadfast when I falter.  He is patient – and well, I am NOT!  He is the calm to my storm (and trust me, it is raging!).  

I don’t know if I will ever be able to embrace change – for now I will be grateful if I can just get through this one.  My love goes out to my friends who have lifted me from the darkness so many times over the last few years.  I hope our friendship is strong enough to get through this next year.  I am hopeful that as the clouds begin to dissipate that better days will be ahead.  I know without question that God has this – He always does – and hang on the promise of happier times ahead.  May God bless us all with a brighter 2013 – may He hold us all within the palm of His ever-protecting hand and may we feel his peace.  Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!

Found this thought the other day that I think is appropriate to share:

Blessings

What if your blessings come through raindrops?
What if your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you’re near?
And what if trials of this life are your tender mercies in disguise?

What if?…….